There is Nothing more Fulfilling….
There is nothing more fulfilling to me than seeing a couple come into counselling on the brink of divorce and seeing them leave my office with feelings of hope! Added to this is seeing an individual learn to really love and accept self after many years of people pleasing and/or various degrees of self-hatred, unhealthy defence mechanisms and feelings of condemnation.
Twenty-one years ago on our honeymoon my husband and I made a commitment to be an open example of encouragement to singles and married persons with respect to the fact that we CAN have fulfilling marriages and fulfilling lives.
Twenty-three years ago when I started my career in counselling I never knew that my passion would be marriage & premarital counselling and empowering individuals. It really amazes me how I have grown in this area by God’s grace and how much I still want to grow and do with respect to couples having fulfilling marriages and individuals having fulfilling lives.
Tears come to my eyes when couples who decided to take their marriage preparation seriously, call, message or email me letting me know that they are doing well, that they are so thankful for the sessions and that they are seeing the positive fruit of all we discussed and learned and all the information I gave them which they are applying.
It’s great when individual become more self-aware and have healthier relationships with self, others and God and see the results manifested in their daily living.
It’s great to see married couples who eventually decide to admit that they really have been doing a lot of things wrong…not because they are wicked or don’t love their spouses but because they really don’t have the knowledge, skills, self-awareness and emotional healing to have a healthy marriage. It’s great to see them buckling down to work…forgiveness, learning about the differences between men and women, learning to accept and love each other, developing a culture of love, learning to communicate and work as a team.
I also have to share that this work does break my heart…I do privately shed a tear from time to time when I see premarital couples not understanding the importance of doing due diligence before marriage…2 or 3 sessions of counselling, or not really giving themselves to the process. It pains me when couples are unable to reconcile and rebuild their love affair for good reasons and for not so good reasons…whatever the reason I’m saddened. Please note that we have freedom of choice and I respect that God given freedom.
Why am I sharing this? I’m sharing this because there is hope. There is hope for the generation to come out of you. My parents don’t have a healthy marriage, they love each other but the marriage isn’t healthy, my husband never lived with his parents…they both left him, we both had many issues with self-esteem because of our past but we decided that our generation and the generations to come out of us would have something better and we wanted to help them and others to have something better. It is tough work; it is heart-breaking work at times but it’s fulfilling to know that God has given me the gifting (and I work hard to develop this gift) to help impact the lives of others and as a result generations for eternity. God bless you.